Pre-op diet day 7

Today. Was. Bad.

Yes, Mother Nature has taken up residence in my uterus.  She better vacate the premises by next Tuesday.  Darn it.

Today was also day one of phase two of my diet.  Today I dropped to having two IMPACT advanced recovery drinks and one protein drink per day.  Of course, I can also have all the Jello to eat and all the SF, super low cal drinks I want.

That being said?  I failed again.  I ate another slice of deli turkey.  Maybe a half ounce?  I know if I’m going to have a slip up, this is probably one of the best things to have, but I don’t want to slip.  I don’t want to give in.  I want to be the PERFECT patient, dammit!  I’m just frustrated and ready to have this surgery done.  The next week is going to be L-O-N-G!

I think this is where I’ll start giving a list of my intake for the day.  Besides the turkey, I had:

Nectar Cappuccino made with FF milk – 31g protein, 180 cals

Chike protein made with FF milk – 36g protein, 280 cals

IMPACT nutrition drink – 18g protein, 340 cals

Totals: 85g protein, 800 cals

Obviously, this doesn’t include the cup of Jello I had or the 100+oz of water/Sobe 0/Crystal Light I drank.  That added another 35 calories, but they apparently don’t count towards my total.

7 more days.  Just 7 more days.

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I tried to “shake” it up.

Tee hee hee.  Shake.  Get it?  Huh?  Oh.

I have been cold lately.  My fingers are like ice 90% of the time.  Today, I decided that I was going to make a warm protein drink and I was going to like it, darn it!  I’ve been reading about a lot of people adding cocoa powder to vanilla shakes to not only make it chocolate, but to also cut the sweetness.  The sweetness has been a problem with the  Chike Vanilla being too sweet the last few days so I decided to make it a hot cocoa.  I added a dash of cinnamon and maybe 1/3 teaspoon of cocoa powder, shook it up in my blender bottle then nuked it until just under 130 degrees.

Then I didn’t like it.  I’m thinking it’s because I used 1/2 water, 1/2 milk to make it.  It was just too thick for my liking.  After that, I added a little more water to thin it, then ice to make it cold.  Once I did all that, it was good, but too much work.

Next time I want a warm protein drink, I’ll mix the protein with water, no skim.

Now I’m overthinking the pre-op diet.

As if I haven’t stressed about it enough, now I think I’m overthinking the rules of the pre-op diet.

My instructions say I’m on the pre-op diet for 2 weeks.  During the first week, I should be taking in 1100-1200 calories by way of 6-7 protein drinks and my chosen 1 cup of cream of whatever soup.  Today would be day seven of that, thus ending my first week.  By that math, I would start the week two diet tomorrow (day 8), right?  But that’s where I’m confused.

During week two, I have to drink 2 Impact Advanced Recovery drinks per day, except for the day before surgery (day 14, I guess), when I would drink one Impact.

Let me break the Impact schedule down for ya.  I have 15 of them and I should have the 15th *”by noon (or before 4PM)”. After the last, I can have nothing but water until 11PM then nothing by mouth since my surgery is at 7:30AM on Tuesday the 6th.

If I started the two week diet on Tuesday, the 23rd, that would have me drinking my last Impact on Monday, the 5th.  Counting back from there, it would have me having my first Impact on Monday (today), the 29th.  Right?

RIGHT?  Or no? Go forth and learn me sumthin’.

*I’m dead serious when I quote this. It is how the nutritionists wrote the orders for all pre-op dieters.  The explanation of that if for another post.

Right. Now I feel bad.

This morning, as I’m just getting into the groove of the Monday morning rush to get Bug ready and off to school, he tells me about the dream he had last night.

Bug:  Mom, I had a dream and it wasn’t a nightmare like the daydream that was a nightmare on that I had on the way home from grandma’s (yesterday evening).

Me: Good!  What was it about?

Bug:  Easter. *giggle*

Me:  Reeeaaallly?

Bug:  Yes.  Mom?  Do you think the Easter Bunny will get scared of Lucky (my parent’s little ankle biting, raccoon and possum killing dog) like he did last year?

Me:  Huh?  What are you talking about, Bug?

Bug: You know, he got scared and dropped all of his eggs all over the yard!  You know, mom!  Remember?!

(The kid is incredibly close to hysterics at this point thinking I don’t remember ANYTHING!)

Me: Ahhh…I remember.  I don’t know.  I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Okay, so why do I feel bad?  Well, the answer is simple.  I’ve been so self involved lately that I didn’t really think of doing anything other than a basket with more toys than candy for Easter.  I didn’t think about my normal egg hunt, egg decorating, pastel egg/bunny shaped food.  I have been so consumed with what I think I need during this pre-op diet, I forgot about my kids’ memories.

So, now I feel the need to make this the best, most memorable Easter ever.  Obviously, I have to do the obligatory Easter egg hunt, decorating eggs, Easter theme shapes to food and Hubs says a big chocolate bunny is mandatory, too.  What other ideas do you have for me?  My kids are going to go through a lot of having to be on their best behavior the week after Easter so I want to give them something great to talk about while making all of us adults proud.

Alright.  Send forth all ideas…NOW!

Hmmmm…girly stuff inside

Guys?  I warned you.  This post will mention menstruation, PMS and quite possibly a hatred for males.  No, nobody did anything to me recently.  I’m just jealous that guys don’t bleed heavily from their penis’ for several days EVERY month.  Why does a female get her childhood ripped from her just so Mother Nature could have her way?  And guys?  Do NOT think about telling me how hard it is for you to get frequent, involuntary erections.  You can put a book over it or casually adjust your hands in your pockets to hide your “oops”.  A girl?  Well, lets just say that the massive blood stain on the back of my off white, flower printed pants in fifth grade was quite easily noticed.  Check mate.

Whew!  How does this relate to weight loss surgery or the sleeve specifically?   Well?  I think I’m getting ready to start my period a week early.  I don’t know at this point which would be worse… starting my period mere minutes before or after getting on the table for surgery or starting now.  During a liquid diet.  When I can’t have liquids one might want when pre-menstrual.  That might explain the little slip I mentioned in my assessment of Pre-op Liquid Diet Day 6.

So?  Which should I hope for?  An early period that’s sure to be over by surgery day?  The on-time for the first time in months period that will announce itself to every individual in the OR like a dam breaking?

Pre-op diet day 6

Day six?  Really?  Good gravy, that means I’ve already drank my way through almost half of my pre-op diet. Before I do, though…

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned.  I caved to the pickle and sliced turkey.  One slice of turkey and one baby dill.  Now I want to cry.  I think that is punishment enough so please, PLEASE!!!, do not make this interfere with Dr. Verseman’s ability to perform my surgery laprascopically.

Okay, I got that out of the way.  Today was on and off for me.  I started out with a growling tummy and will end the same way.  I did get about 975 calories in today which is better than the last two days, but let me tell ya…the last two days I felt way better than I do tonight.  I wasn’t feeling hungry and was able to fight the head hunger much better.  Obviously.

Tomorrow is a new day and a new start.  No more slips, no more trips, no more sinning against the WLS Gods.

Irrational WLS fears.

Does anyone else have these fears that you know wouldn’t happen to you, but you have heard of someone who it has happened to?  I have a few.  Not too many, but enough to drive me just slightly over the edge sometimes.

1) My marriage won’t make it through this major change that is WLS.  Hubs has only known me as morbidly obese.  He thought I was beautiful (so he says) 100 pounds ago.  He says he will still love me when I’m at goal.  He’s never been the jealous type, but will that change knowing that more men will be interested in a thinner, “normal” woman as opposed to the woman I’ve always been?  I hope not.  I hope that the only thing that will happen to our marriage is that it grows stronger and better.

2) My kids won’t know how to deal with the quick change in me.  I don’t worry so much about Nugget (3 years old) as I do about Bug (6 years old).  Bug will notices how quickly my body disappears.  I can only assume that losing the majority of my weight through the summer months will only reinforce the fact that mommy is turning into the Incredible Disappearing Woman!  But, how will that affect him?  What should I be ready for?

3) More family.  My parents and sister, Hubs’ parents and family.  My MIL is already unsure of the surgery, but has supported me nonetheless.  She will pray for me and take those prayers to her church family two days and five services a week.  My SIL’s (that I see/talk to regularly) are supportive, also.  Will their attitudes change?  I can’t imagine it from my SIL’s, but I’ve heard of others who have had family be supportive until the weight fell off.  After that, there was jealousy and feelings of being unwelcome.  Like I said, I can’t imagine that happening, but have to remember that WLS does strange things to people.

4) Clothing.  What if I still can’t find anything to wear?  What if my body is just so completely flabby and icky that I still can’t find clothing that will flatter my body and not accentuate the negative?  Up until a few months ago, it wasn’t impossible to dress decently without showing off my spare tires/donut/muffin top/whatever.  Since then, it seems like those bulges will forever be my nemesis.  God help me if that happens.

Pre-op diet day 5

It’s getting easier, my friends.  Actually, scratch that, hoping I don’t jinx myself, I’d venture to say this is pretty easy now.  I realized after finishing my last bit of “food” at 9PM that yesterday and today, I’ve ended the day with under 1000 calories and protein at well over 100g per day.  I’m supposed to be at 1100-1200 calories per day.  I really hope my dietitian isn’t upset with me for not pushing that last 150-200 calories in with an extra protein shake.

In two days, I will start the second phase of the pre-op diet.  This is when I start using the Impact Advanced Recovery drinks twice a day with one protein shake as my third “meal”.  I also have to drop my chosen one cup of strained cream soup mixed with 2 cups of broth.  I would break this into two 1/2 cups of soup and one cup of broth at a time.  “Normally”, I’d have the first half at 5-6PM then the second whenever I got hungry again — around 9PM.  Splitting it up just felt right.

So, based on my decreased caloric intake, I think I’ve gotten used to the liquids a bit.  I still find myself getting down and missing food during the day, but today I realized that when that happened around 1:30PM, I just needed a protein shake to boost my mood a little bit.  I think tomorrow I’m going to try to bend the schedule a little so I can fit a shake in around that time.

I hope all of this means that on Tuesday, when I switch over to the 800-900 calorie limits, it won’t be quite as hard to do as starting liquids last week.

Wish me luck, readers.  I may need it.

Pre-op diet day 4 (Friday 03/26)

WLS is soooo not the easy way out.  The 1200 calories a day?  I’m good with that.  Happy, even.  What I’m having a problem with is the need to chew.   I would slave out my big kid for a day to have one bite of something that I have to chew.

Okay, that’s a lie.  I had a tiny piece of venison that hubs cut for Nugget.  Tiny.  Nugget is just over 3 years old so his meat is still cut to bites the size of my pinky fingernail.  I chewed that thing with everything in me.  Then it happened.

I felt like a big freakin’ loser.

It didn’t help that the Chike that I love so much?  Yeah.  Tasted like moldy butt.  Thankfully, I got word that my Syntrax Cappuccino was waiting for me at the post office.  Mmmm…creamy coffee deliciousness.

I still miss chewing, though.  And before you ask, the answer is no.  No, I am not going to chew gum or mints or anything of the sort.  Why, you ask?  I won’t because I’m a recovering gum/mint addict.  Being that I am not supposed to have it for awhile after surgery, I quit weeks ago.   I can’t start again now.

Pre-op liquid diet day 3.

Oh, I forgot to post on days one and two?  Whoopsie!  Don’t get upset.  This diet is hard!  It’s not just taking away carbs, junkfood, sugar or flour.  It’s taking away EVERYTHING.  At least that’s how it seems.

A can of soup has lasted 2 and a half days, friendly readers.  I’m allowed 1 cup of strained cream soup per day.  I break it up into two half cup servings mixed with 1 cup of broth.  The soup thickens the broth just enough to make it feel like there is something more than liquid going in.  Oh, and just to test the taste, I mixed in a scoop of GNC unflavored protein powder.  It didn’t change the taste at all.  I’m very pleased.  Plus, each 1 cup serving now gives me 5g of protein instead of .5g originally.

Okay, let me rewind to Day One really quick.  There isn’t much to say.  I didn’t have my Chike by this time so I had to go forth with determination as I gagged down some off brand protein that was less than yummy.  When Hubs got home he brought with him a 6 pack of Atkins Advantage.  It was allowed on my list and on sale.  So it is.  I was ready to scoop my eyeballs out by the end of the day.  With a spoon.  I was hungry, cranky and generally not happy to have nothing crunchy, chewy or break-apart-able for over 24 hours.  I went to bed wondering how the heck I was going to make it through 13 more days of this torture.

Day Two went pretty quickly as well.  Hubs had that night off so I had him helping me out after Bug got home.  He made dinner so I didn’t have to deal with the scent, sight or touching of the food.   I also got my Chike so the day started looking way up at about 2PM.  I went to bed a little early so I could cuddle in bed with a sick Nugget and slept in this morning.  Day Two was not horrible.

Today has been a bit of a pain.  I got up later than I have been so my protein drinking schedule was all off.  Almost 2 hours off.  Then, we went to run errands.  I brought along my second protein drink (the Atkins came in handy) and a can of Minute Maid Light Cherry Limeade for some liquids.  The errands took longer than expected so I still missed one protein shake and had to stop and grab something else to drink.  I made a good choice…Fuze Slenderize Blueberry Raspberry.

Since we got home,  I have been mostly really hungry.  Hubs made venison steaks, mashed taters and corn for himself, Bug and Nugget.  I could only smell it.  I could take venison or leave it, but tonight…I would have given my left kidney for one little steak, a bite of potato and one kernel of corn.  Really.